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Trust and understand is the ultimate

TRUST AND UNDERSTANDING IS THE ULTIMATE. (a story for teens and parents)

Written by Chinaza Jessica

“How could you! I mean how could you!?” the woman screamed bursting into the big room.
“How could you Andrew? How could you damage the image of this family. How could you choose to disgrace me and undermine the good and Christian discipline you were raised in?
You undermine it and decided to be a cultist, a smoker, kidnapper and a murderer. A delinquent!” the aged woman screamed.

The occupants of the room turned to the fuming woman, the young man she had come for turned his face from her undisturbed. He continued releasing puffs of smoke and he watched the performance of the girls around him. The corners of his face portrayed a knowing smile as he continued his smoking admist the woman’s ranting.

“Is this what I trained you to be ehh Andrew? You have abandoned your good certificate as an over qualified Engineer to become a delinquent! Vagabond!! A nonentity!!! You have put your late father and I to shame.
I wanted you to be like Taiwo. Taiwo is a good child, A son to be proud of. You and Taiwo were agemates attending the same school and church. I have provided you with all he had.
Taiwo studied Engineering and look at him today! A successful young man unlike you. I always knew you would not heed to my advise.
You were a very different child. I knew it. You were stubborn and thick headed.”

As the woman continued yelling. The young man’s knowing smile did not leave his face as he continued releasing puffs of smoke from his ciga in an exotic manner. He seemed to be enjoying her rantings.

The frustrated mother continued “I wanted you to be like Taiwo. But you were carried away by the devil. The son of a deaconess has shamed me. The Bible says spare the rod and spoil the child. I disciplined you times without number but you didn’t change. You grew worse.
My son is now a delinquent. What did I not do as a mother? The lord knows I did my best. I loved and trained you. I disciplined and cared for you. Tell me what I did not do for you…

“Enough!!!” the big man said banging the table and standing up. The huge figure arose. His hard face, his huge muscles, plenty body scars and tough body structure showed evidences of tough workouts and street escapades. He wore a black Jean and clean white T-shirt.
He would have been the young, fair and handsome lad he was a very few years ago.
He was no longer the thin, weak boy of then. He was now a grown rugged, thick and hard Big man as he was called by the street.

“You, You You get out!!!” he barked at the performing ladies who flinched and hurriedly picked their things and left In fright. He turned to the woman.
“You ask what you didn’t give me mum? You ask that?” he thundered At her.
“You really want to know? What I lacked all my days as your son?
Do you really want to know what I lacked from the deacon and deaconess?” he asked with a tiny laugh that spoke of so many emotions.
“I lacked understanding!” he screamed facing the woman.
“UNDERSTANDING!!!” he thundered slapping Both palms together.
“Understanding Goddammit!!!”

“Andrew what do you mean by understanding. I understood you perfectly. I was there for you emotionally and Psychologically like a true mother would.” she lectured a bit confused.

The big man looked at her and laughed. The kind of laughter that spoke of mockery and self pity.
“Here she goes again. Spoken so well about a child’s welfare and upbringing like the deaconess she is.
Ahh! It’s a pity she is very good at talks but doesn’t understand what she says.”

“Now listen to me Andrew. This is no way to talk to your mother. I have taken good care of you, you were trained in the church. I gave you a good Christian upbringing. I am a deaconess.” she stamped her foot.

“Oh really Mrs. Deaconess you gave me a Christian upbringing? Wow! That’s good to know.”he said with a mischievous grin.

“you took me to church. Yes, I agree. But the only reason I came to church with you because you forced me to all my life. I hated Church. The love you preached about God and we should show, I never felt or saw it even from the so called deaconess!
I never felt love from you or Papa. Never.”

“What do you mean? I preached about love and our family was a perfect example of it.”

“oh yes, I remember. I remember your preaching. It was one of the major reasons I hated you and church. Every single time you took the mic, you would talk about our family. How useless your son was.
How you have tried talking and disciplining him as a mother. You would stand there and talk of mistakes I made in the past and most times over exaggerated them.

You talked about how awful teens were and I was the example you always used. Not once did you mention anything I had done right.
You always concluded admonishing parents never to allow their Children make their own choices as long as they were in your house because they were silly and immature like your son.

You would come down from the altar with deafening claps from the congregation. You didn’t know what I felt sitted down there in shame and pain. The glares and stares other parents gave me.
did you know what they said about me?
Do you know how bad I felt?
No! You were “preaching” the gospel. I hated church and especially house fellowship meetings!!!”

“The Bible says children obey your parents in the lord for this is right.
Train up your child in the way he should grow…

“spare me that bullshit mama! The same Bible says parents provoke not your children to anger.
Ever since my childhood. I hated myself! I Hated you and daddy. I never felt proud or sure of myself because you always said I wasn’t good enough for you. You said I was a disgrace and couldn’t represent the family.

Everytime you screamed at me and compared me to other kids especially Taiwo.
Taiwo this, Taiwo that, why can’t you be like him, good and hardworking. His parents never complained of him.
You compared me to other kids.”

“I compared you to them because I wanted you to take challenges and be like them. You fool!”

“really mum? You didn’t know that every time you compared me to them, I didn’t feel challenged in fact I felt lesser. Like they were better than me. I felt like a disgrace!!!”

“Andrew I wanted the best for you.”

“yea yea, the best. You wanted the best and i tried to give you the best of my abilities. But I was never good enough. I wanted to be a foot baller but you wanted me to be an Engineer.”

“I didn’t want your A brain to waste. I didn’t want my son to be a delinquent!”

“And so you rejected a life Changing offer of a scholarship to study at an international football academy where my future was assured.
You warned the man to stay away from me and you beat the hell outta me warning me never to play football again!!!”

“I wanted you to be an Engineer!!!”

“And you wasted my future.” he banged the table.

“Mama you turned me to a loner warning all the kids to stay away. They were a bad influence. I became lonely all my life with you!!!”

“Evil communication corrupts good manners Andrew.”

“And how do you know they were evil?”

“I just felt so.”

“wow you felt so? What a wonderful feeling!” he said sarcastically.

“Andrew, I wanted God’s wish for you.” she said weakly.

“That’s good to know and that’s why you called me a failure. You said there was nothing I would ever be good at except wasting my life.
You said you wished. I was never your son. You wish you had Taiwo, who was a blessing to his parents unlike me.
Well guess what mum? The Taiwo you always compared me to. He always told me that his parents wish they had me as a son.”

“Andrew.. I… Emm…

“There was not a single time I was happy with you. I became alone and very depressed. I had no friends because you chased them away. I found solace in quiet and dark places. I tried my very best to stay away from you and daddy.
And when you noticed it. You said I was evil and had something bad to do. You didn’t trust me.”

“I… I… I

“Now tell me my dearest mother. what kind of parent don’t trust her child. Any rumor you heard about me you would always punish me without confirming.”

“I was trying to discipline you.”

“discipline?” he laughed again
“because of discipline, I would go to school with an heavy eyes, swollen eyes and many scars. Every body stayed away from me because of you.

My life was a torment because of you and daddy’s screams, venom and beating. I became a whimp, depressed and lonely child.”

“But.. I… I…

“I wondered why God brought me into this kind of family. I saw other kids happy. I wanted to be happy too.
I began to hate you, papa, every body and God. From fear it became depression and lastly hate.
Pure Hate!!!”
His eyes began to water.

“But why didn’t you tell me?” she asked shaking and disappointed In herself for once.

He laughed hysterically.

“tell you? I should tell you. Where you even approachable? I tried and tried but couldn’t.
How would I talk to some one you barely knew, loved or trust.
Did you even understand? There were times I wanted to be with you so bad. But you pushed me away, my own mother pushed me away!”

She looked at him as tears flowed from her eyes. She knew she has failed as a mother. She placed her palms on her face and gazed at him as tears flowed freely.
She looked at him and saw the tender lamb In him.

The 13 year old she always yelled and beat publicly and In private.
The 14 year old she pushed his friends away.
The 15 year old she always compares.
The 16 year old she destroyed his life changing dreams
The 17 year old she pushed away.
Finally 18 year old depressed Andrew.

She wanted to make changes and start a new life with him. She wanted to be a better mother and Friend. An understanding friend, she wanted her only child back.

“Andrew I am sorry. I am sorry for all my wrong doings. The good mother and Friend I failed to be I want to know and understand you. Let’s start over please please…
She pleaded in tears.

Andrew looked at her and shook his head negatively. He pushed her hands off and turned away from her.

“you want to know and love me now? You want to be a good mother and make amends Now?
I’m sorry. It’s too late. You see after living in hell with you. I entered into school to study your dream engineering.
I hated my course and myself. I stopped church and God and anything that reminded me of you and Papa. I hated dark and quiet places because it reminded me of your shouts and the gossips of our neighbours.

I became more depressed. I was introduced into drugs by cultists and soon I found solace in them.

Over the years I got used to the hard life and became a major Capone.

Now I am a drug dealers, a child of the street and a murderer. I know the police are on my trail but who cares. I’ve gotten into worse conditions before. I’m nor scared of death.

And now you want to be a good mother? There was never an understanding between you and I.
I can never love or trust you again.”

He turned his back on the weeping woman and faced the window.

“it is too late mum. Good bye.”

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